Knocked Up Quotes
A collection of the best quotes from Knocked Up by your favorite characters including Ben Stone, Alison Scott and Debbie.
Female Doctor: Oops. That's not your vagina. That's your asshole. • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0 • Permalink
Martin: Whatever. I'm glad I'm not a Jew.
Ben Stone: So are we. You weren't chosen for a reason.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 • Permalink
Alison Scott: I'm sorry I told you to f**k your bong.
Ben Stone: It's okay... I didn't.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0 • Permalink
Jay: Thanks for the free money, Bitch.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 • Permalink
Ben Stone: If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in "Munich."
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Alison Scott: Hey...
Ben Stone: I'm naked.
Alison Scott: Yeah.
Ben Stone: Did we have sex?
Alison Scott: Yes.
Ben Stone: Nice.
• Rating: 2.8 / 5.0 • Permalink
Ben Stone: I live in your phone!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 • Permalink
Ben Stone: [to bartender] You're going to be embarrassed when you realize I'm Wilmer Valderrama.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Ben Stone: Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0 • Permalink
Jonah: Tell him not to jerk off with a noose around his neck - it's dangerous.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 37